#i think thats psrtly whats frustrating idk how much of this is real
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dizzybevvie · 1 year ago
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Feel free to ignore this!!! this is kinda like public journalling?? i dont wanna keep talking to my friends about it <3
#So obviously i dont want to “make this about myself” but im gonna push that aside to examine my own thoughts foe a bit#obviously 6 hours isnt a good time scale but i want to get this out of the way#so ive journaled some thoughts about how I WANT to let myself feel discomfort#-and gross and stuff so I can release it instead of pushing it aside and just prolonging the feeling#I want my brain to know i forgive myself for feeling like this in spite of not being the injured person because its normal#I am not worried for the guy that got hit because I know that other than a broken leg he is all around okay#although i did find out that my age estimate of 13-14 was wrong and hes actually 11 or 12#i feel bad for him obviously !!!#but this is for me to get out my own feelings#I am easily disturbed and his leg was VERY broken#ive not broken a bone before (or really been injured at all) and it made me very uncomfortable#I felt sick and/or like i was going to cry#I called my mum but she had to go in a rush because of Plans (totally fair!!!!)#The noise of the hit was insanely loud and definitely whats twisting me up the most#since i wasnt looking i dont know if it was just him getting hit OR if it was also the bone snapping#although the bone snap could 100% be something my mind made up#i think thats psrtly whats frustrating idk how much of this is real#like I thought i saw the inside of his leg but i almost definitely didnt#i dont know#im not like. DISTRESSED.#Im just feelinf kinda queasy i havent stopped thinking about the noise it made and how LIMP his leg was#I was so anxious crossing the roads on my way home#and getting off my bunkbed makes me think im gonna snap my ankle everytime#But its natural to feel that yknow?? like ill move forward and after that ill be able to move on too#I think feeling it is the easiest way to do this i dont want to push it down#i cant ask for a day off for reasons#oversharing on main#beverly says stuff#tw bones#tw car accident
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